By: Jaclyn Strauss, CPA, Founder, My Macro Memoir
It is always interesting to find yourself in a room with several other single, working moms to hear the common themes that inevitably come out of these encounters. Whether you know the other women in the room or know them through something, everyone can relate to this topic and find common ground. I find it one of the few topics that bring people together more substantial than any other. I am here to say, “Hi there, fellow mom, I see you, and I hear you, and I am right there with you!”
The most common challenges that we face as single, working mothers are the following:
- The immediate feeling that the other mothers do not fall into this category seems to pity us. Pity is not something we desire, nor does it make us feel supported. Everyone has a story, and the single & working mom classification is simply just that. There are stories behind the “why,” and perhaps it was for good reason that put us in a happier and better situation physically, mentally, or financially. The question that we often want to ask as we can see your body language screaming that you feel bad for us is, “don’t you also have struggles as a mom whether you are married, working, or classified in some other category?” Instead of being quick to feel pity for us, let us do for each other. Let us support you, and you support us back. We can all use extra hands as a mother in general, and it is always heartwarming when someone offers it. It is also rewarding to support you as everyone wants to feel valued and heard.
- The challenge of not having someone consistent to call for last-minute backup when needed. Whether you are a married or single mother and working no matter what, we are the ones called when our child becomes ill at school, or they forgot their lunchbox or homework assignment. We are expected to be available to pick up our children almost immediately or deliver their lunch as fast as Domino’s pizza delivered us the large pizza we ordered for dinner the night before. And remember we ordered that pizza because we could not find the time or energy to cook a meal and that is okay! The proposed solution is to surround yourself with a tribe of other women or family members that you can ask in advance the permission to call in the last-minute situation. Of course, you would understand if they could not help every time; however, having at least three people deep can allow for a rotation, especially if you can’t get to where they need you to be for your child when you are required, which we know is usually instantly.
- Forgetting about our need for self-care. I am running at what feels like a mile a minute to get all of my work done, show up and be present for my children, and not let these precious years fly by without getting the time to feel them and soak them in. Mothers seem to carry the weight on our shoulders, and we try to be everything to everyone. It seems to kick in naturally, and we have to be deliberate to stop it and take a moment to breathe sometimes. Everyone else is our priority, and ensuring everyone is happy and healthy around us gives us the fuel we need to keep going. However, eventually, it catches us, and we find ourselves physically or mentally just DONE! We have all been there and likely multiple times, and that is okay. This is the time that you must be willing to call a time out and do you for just a tiny period of time. If we cannot be our best selves because we have let ourselves go, then we cannot be the best mothers or employees that we can be.
Bio: Jaclyn Strauss, CPA is a mid-level executive for a Fortune 100 company with multiple passions. She is the founder of her own company called My Macro Memoir and has become a leading efficiency expert by putting her skills and knowledge to work by creating a secure place for families to digitally organize themselves with the thinking done for them. Jaclyn leads with her heart in all that she does and has a passion to serve the greater good of her local community and beyond.