He Said, She Said: 5 Things My Parent’s Didn’t Tell Me About Marriage

Marriage, Christine Michel Carter, with additional insight from her husband, James, discuss topics they wish their parents had told them about, such as child care, in laws, sacrifices, money, and commitment.

In-Laws

James observes that in-laws can have unpredictable effects on marriage, having their own opinions and possibly becoming too controlling.

Christine discusses “black momma syndrome,” or how black mothers can put themselves in the position of their son’s “spouse.”

Children 

James observes how children can interrupt sex drive.

Christine discusses the importance of building trust with your children.

Counseling

James wishes that his parents told him that counselors and professionals are available to help with marital problems.

Christine agrees with James and adds that there can be some stigma against therapy in the black community.  She believes that having the opinion of a third party can be very helpful.

Sacrifices

James observes that when single, one only has to consider responsibility for themselves.  However, when married and with children, it is difficult to adjust to the additional responsibility.

Christine congratulates herself for supporting James while he was completing a college degree, but considers that she did not support herself.  She says “I wish my parents would have told me it’s okay to support and make sacrifices for your spouse, without sacrificing yourself.”

Money 

James, despite being a CPA, wishes his parents had told him about the importance of money as a provider.

Commitment

Christine discusses the importance of honesty in a relationship, and how sometimes things need a reset.

Head over to blackbride.com to read “He Said, She Said: 5 Things My Parent’s Didn’t Tell Me About Marriage”, which Christine Michel Carter wrote for married couples.

For more from Christine check out:  Staying Sane As A Working Mom