Being a working mom often feels like juggling on a high wire. You’re balancing your job, children, and home. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom who is working from home or you’re working a full-time time job in an office, it’s natural to want control so you don’t drop any tasks. In an effort to manage everything, it’s easy to become a control freak. When you’re a control freak, you run the risk of alienating yourself from others. You might also be busy every waking hour of the day and still feel like you haven’t accomplished anything. It isn’t sustainable. Here are 10 signs you might be a control freak and resources to help.
You’re a Team of One
If you frequently say, “I’ll do it myself,” you probably feel stretched thin much of the time. When you’re a control freak, it can be nearly impossible to delegate responsibilities. But delegation is important if you want to get more done without having all the weight on your shoulders. Start by delegating smaller tasks. For example, let your children make money by giving them daily chores to do around the house. If you have room in your budget, outsource larger tasks, such as meal prep or deep cleaning, to free yourself for work only you can do.
You Expect Perfection
If you’re selling your house, you’ve probably researched the best real estate agents because you won’t settle for any offer but the best. Or maybe you’ve interviewed every student in the math club before choosing one to help your child with algebra. Although there’s no harm in wanting the best bang for your buck, the need for perfection will usually leave you feeling disappointed. Practice giving grace to yourself and others and allow room for errors.
You Want all the Credit
Everyone wants to be rewarded for a job well done. But if you routinely find yourself wanting to take all the credit for success, hit the pause button. If you feel like your co-workers aren’t pulling their weight, it might be time to have a difficult, but important, conversation about reassessing shared project roles.
You Plan for (and Expect) the Worst
Do you know exactly what you’ll do in case of severe weather? Have you calculated how much you’ll receive from a house buyout in a divorce? Sometimes it pays to be prepared for the worst, but it can also steal your joy. Instead of expecting the worst, work with your family to create a preparedness plan that addresses only the most realistic problems you might face. Give everyone a responsibility so they’ll know what to do, and you can spend less time worrying.
You Oppose Change
Sometimes it feels like change is happening too quickly, but it’s important to keep an open mind. Remember that some of the greatest innovations in the world have come from change, so it’s important to allow room for progress.
You Control the Finances
It may be necessary to stretch every penny when you’re raising a family, but you can achieve your financial goals without being cheap. It’s important to make all major financial decisions with your partner. Consider having a monthly money date where you sit down and evaluate your income, expenses, and savings. By working together, you may identify new ways to live more frugally and build your nest egg.
You Always Want to Win
A healthy competitive streak can be helpful, but when your need to win interferes with your ability to connect with others, take a step back. Whether you’re in an argument with your partner, playing a game with your kids, or working on a project at work, remember that sometimes you have to let it go for the greater good.
You Constantly Correct Others
Moms must prepare their children for the world, and sometimes that requires behavior correction. If you find yourself wanting to correct your friends and co-workers, it’s time to hit the brakes. Although you may need to ask co-workers to change the way they process paperwork to fit a new system, you probably don’t need to give them unsolicited advice. By constantly criticizing others, you’ll end up pushing them away and isolating yourself.
You Expect Others to Fit Your Schedule
Sometimes it feels like the only way to finish everything on your to-do list is to schedule every minute of the day. It’s OK to have a list of goals you’d like to accomplish, but try not to overschedule and allow for the unexpected — because it will usually happen. Also remember that just because you have a schedule, it doesn’t mean everyone else is on it. When you work with others, you need to be respectful of their time as well.
You Hold a Grudge
What parent hasn’t heard “Let It Go” sung at least a million times? But it isn’t just a catchy tune. It’s an important mantra to keep yourself from holding grudges. When you hold a grudge, you create a barrier between yourself and others. Although some barriers are necessary and healthy, make sure you aren’t holding grudges against the people who are most important to you.