How can Working Moms Align Their Heart And Mind?
By: Amber Robinson, Licensed Psychotherapist at Amber Robinson Therapy
Being a mother is no easy task. We hear it said all the time, but how many actually understand the stress, pressure, and chaos associated with being a mom —then add working mom. It’s a lot! You may receive sympathy, “I’m sorry you’re so busy!” but how often do you receive empathy? How often do you feel someone is truly connected and understanding of your struggles as a working mom? It can be chaotic and overwhelming while simultaneously being lonely and isolated.
Aligning the heart and mind is so important in feeling fulfilled as a woman and working mom. This can be done in a myriad of ways.
The first step is to STOP!
I know it’s hard to stop when you’re always moving, but if you don’t, you will not be able to understand yourself and what it is that you need. Try waking up ten minutes earlier and getting some quiet time in the morning.
Next, look inward and take some time reflecting on what brings you joy.
Not you, the mother or the career woman, but you! Mom guilt is real and taking time for yourself can feel selfish, but it is not selfish! If you are not taking care of yourself, you may be cheating your family and your career out of the best version of yourself! Don’t be afraid to have your own identity outside of motherhood. It is not selfish, it is healthy!
Finding your light is so important in finding joy and happiness.
If you ever feel guilty for shining in your own light, remember that you are setting an example for your children as well as other working moms that balance may be hard, but it can be done!
Sometimes, however, we know exactly what we want and what we need, but things get in the way.
When this happens, I recommend taking the same steps and getting some quiet time, usually in the morning before the noise of the day comes in, and reflect. What do I want? Who do I want to be? Then, get talking! Literally. Tell as many people as you can about your goals. The more people you tell, the more people can help you. This may be in the form of providing help with childcare, help with guidance, or connecting you to another mom who went down a similar path. Talking to other women who have done similar things can be extremely helpful. As women, we are taught to shrink ourselves — no more of that!
Shifting things in your life will shift things in your relationships, it’s just the natural order of things. This is ok! Some of these shifts will be welcome and some may be met with some resistance, but remembering the goal is imperative. You are shifting things to add to your overall wellbeing and happiness. If you let someone down in the process, it is important not to be too hard on yourself. Moms already face a ton of criticism and shame, we cannot beat ourselves up too! Learn from mistakes and shift things next time if necessary.