Motherhood should stop you from working, neither because of your maternity leave nor because you feel too guilty to leave your kids. Moms Shouldn’t Feel Bad About Going Back To Work. It’s a big decision, either leaving work to become a full-time mom (let’s talk about unpaid jobs!), taking up more hours at work, looking for a more demanding job, or going back in after having a baby. So, to help you think, here are ten reasons why moms shouldn’t feel bad for going back to work.
You are not alone. We all struggle.
Career women come in all shapes and sizes: we are mothers, aunties, grandmas, big sisters, daughters, and more, yet, there’s something we all have in common, and that’s a crucial lesson we learn since we are young girls. We have always been taught: once we have a family, we should advocate 100% to it. It is also often believed you cannot be both a career woman and a mother; because, for some mystic reason, you will fail one or the other. It has even been demonstrated by research that childcare obligations are among the most significant factors women consider when deciding whether to run for office. This is a reality valid for all women across the working board so, believe me, it’s not only you who’s is dealing with this choice.
You won’t fail if you are not home.
You will not fail your family if you go back to work, and you are human. Also, you are not perfect. Cut yourself some slack. Divide the chores in your house and make every family member independent enough, so they don’t solely depend on you being home to function. The organization is key here for a healthy family home to come back to after a long workday.
You are needed.
Without women, the world doesn’t work, and neither does the working world. We are, in fact, more productive in the workplace than the average employee without children. We make up for 57% of the US workforce. Once women become mothers, they change their whole life and radically reorient their work-life to new definitions of success. Which ultimately impacts productivity.
It’s ok not to be ok.
Becoming a mother is an identity shift for women and one of the most significant psychological changes they will ever experience. It’s normal. It should be more tolerated by society to accept that we struggle when making this kind of life-changing decision. Once again, paid maternity leave is a conditioner for a lot of women. Many don’t have a lot of time to make a decision, and others get so much pressure from their families, friends, peers, or society overall that sometimes we make decisions that don’t sit right with us.
Separation anxiety can be expected. Seek help. Take it one day at a time. Just like pregnancy, motherhood is a process, your first steps away from your kids will be too, and even if they are not newborns and you are going back to work after some time, it’s normal. It’s our maternal instinct that kicks in and tricks us into thinking they can’t live without us. They can. Go to work, be badass at it. Also, come back home to your babies, and rest.
Reclaim your time!
Go back to the office, your classroom, your workspace, and reclaim it again. You have earned it, and now you are going back in with full force and wiser to give your best. By empowering moms to claim their seat at the table, we are changing the conversation at all levels of the workforce. Working moms are worth it. We are worth that promotion. We are worth that salary raise. And have the experience, have the talent, and have the willpower to keep it all going.
Sometimes, it’s too soon.
If it’s not your time, it’s not your time. Say no, negotiate with your boss to work out how to work from home if you can, or to arrange a more flexible schedule. Many working moms already feel the need to say “yes” in an attempt to demonstrate proficiency in their role to prove that they value their work and are a team player in the effort to combat stigmas often associated with working moms. So go in and ask for that flexibility when you feel it’s the right time. If you need more time to think about it’s ok too.
Millennial moms go to work. Don’t question yourself for it.
Working women have always been questioned in the workplace. They have always asked our dedication to the task and doubt our capacities and devotion; it’s no different for this new generation. Millennial moms share some specific trauma and difficulties finding enough stability to settle down due to student debt, gender wage gaps, under-employment, the Great Recession, and the amplification of radical voices and opinions through social media. Having a family won’t make things worse, don’t question yourself. You can find the stability you’re looking for. Take the first step going back to work!
Times have changed. Our place is in the work field.
Modern times call for modern working moms. Moms Shouldn’t Feel Bad About Going Back To Work. Unlike earlier generations, new moms now have different priorities and different ways of parenting. Actually, 82% of working moms believe their work helps them set a positive example for their children, but millennial moms put identifying themselves via their career forth to their marriage/partnership (71%), family (57%), and friends (50%).
Don’t stress too much about it.
Share the household’s responsibilities with your partner, change the narrative of a superwoman, and have assigned chores and schedules. Children change a relationship’s functionality 89% of the majority of millennial women surveyed were married, but 20% feel that becoming a parent pulled their relationship apart. This number was even higher for African-American millennial moms (23%) and older millennial moms (21%). A working schedule is something you must make space for in your relationships’ new dynamic. Your job is as important as theirs. Talk it through and claim your ground, negotiate school pick-ups and activities with anticipation, so everybody has their own time for everything they need to do.
Take advantage of working from home during a pandemic.
Working from home has its pros and cons, especially when you also have children studying or playing around all the time. Moms Shouldn’t Feel Bad About Going Back To Work. Yet take the most out of the experience! Organize separate workspaces for everyone, as commuting isn’t a daily thing anymore, use your time wisely! Organize your work and deal with your family with the attitude that you do your job like a boss. A survey found that moms working from home are working in an environment that sets them up for success, and as a result, they are happier, feel more valued, and are more productive.